Minimalism is…. Waiting For What You Really Want
Mr. Blue and I had our first fight. Well, considering our personalities, I’m unsure that we’re capable of a true “show down”. (It’d be fun to try, but I think we’d fail miserably.) A better description would be a ”difference of opinion”. Did we disagree over politics? Discuss his inability to ask for directions when lost? Not even close. Our argument – I mean, difference of opinion – involved a much more important matter:
Dishes.
Perhaps a mundane topic to some, but very important to a minimalist. A minimalist can’t walk into any ol’ store and purchase any ol’ set of dishes. A minimalist must carefully select his/her dishes. After all, there’s only one set in the cupboard. This set, then, must be lovingly selected. Not necessarily expensive. Personally, I love finding eclectic pieces from Goodwill that don’t match, but “go together”. This lessens the pressure when I break one 
.
Now that I have Mr. Blue, I need more dishes, since I’ve decided to feed him occasionally. While browsing through Target, I perused their plate selection.
“Just get these,” Mr. Blue said, gesturing to a set of 4 plates.
“But I don’t like those.”
“They’re only $2.50 per plate,” he insisted.
“Since the plates at Goodwill are usually $0.79, that’s not much of an argument,” I told him. “Besides, they’re black.”
“What’s wrong with black? They’ll go with anything.”
I placed my hands on my hips, giving him my best frownie face. “Black is not my color.”
And that was the end of that.
Mr. Blue appreciates a simple life, though he’s not a minimalist. I forgive him for this. After all, someone has to keep me in line. What he misunderstood, though, was that my number of dishes (or lack thereof) are as equally important as the quality of my dishes. I don’t want expensive dishes, fine china, or anything remotely fancy. I want dishes that make me smile when I open the cupboard. Dishes in colors that don’t match, but blend well together. Pieces chosen while browsing a thrift shop on a sunny day, or during a weekend trip through a mountain town. Pieces that bring back a memory. (But still no more than what I need!)
Minimalism is waiting for what you really want. Whether that’s a particular set of dishes…or a particular shade of Mr. Blue. It’s choosing things carefully. Expressing yourself through your choices, receiving pleasure when they’re used. Being utterly satisfied with all that you have.
Nothing will ever be perfect. No perfect set of dishes. No perfect pair of shoes. No perfect friends. What fun would that be? It’s the cracks, chips, burns, dings and mud stains that make life beautiful. So, go out and make your life beautiful. However you define beauty, that is. Accept nothing less than what you really want, while at the same time learning to want less.
It’s worth every moment. Every moment of waiting. Every moment of drinking from your favorite cup. Every moment of kissing Mr. Right (or Ms. Right). Every moment of slipping on your favorite jeans. Every moment of dancing in your favorite shoes. It’s worth everything.
I’ve been lurking on your blog for a while reading your incredible posts. I’ve posted your link on the front of my blog. I’m not a minimalist, yet anyway, but I sooooo enjoy reading your thoughts and have found I feel the same way about so many things as you do. I adore mismatched dishes rather than a set. I’m packing for a move and have decided to experiment with just how little I can live with while awaiting moving day. So far, it’s been an absolute joy, and I feel more liberated with each peace I pack away.
Cottage Palette
May 17, 2010 at 12:40 pm
@ Cottage Palette – Thank you for linking my blog to yours! I consider this the highest of compliments. I’m glad you enjoy reading my thoughts, since I enjoy writing them .
I like mismatched EVERYTHING. Things that flow together – colors, patterns, etc. – but aren’t a “set”. It allows me to easily add pieces here & there, too, as I travel. I like purchasing things – things that are NEEDED – while on trips. It provides an excellent memory.
Congrats on scaling down as you await moving day. I love moving, it’s so refreshing to be in a new spot, and the new perspective can be just the thing for starting something new…or finishing something old. I’m glad you’re liberated – Cheers!
SimplicityBySunny
May 17, 2010 at 1:35 pm
I understand appreciating things that are mismatched. When we redid our kitchen, my husband and I got in a (little) argument over the bar stools and kitchen table. He wanted everything to match the cabinets! We already had the table so I was NOT about to get rid of it so we could purchase new EVERYTHING. Besides, like you, I don’t WANT everything to match… it makes it kinda creepy (like in magazines) when everything looks the same. I think its because everything blends together and your eyes don’t really have one place that they can rest on.
Chandra
May 17, 2010 at 8:57 pm
@ Chandra – I don’t care for the magazine look, either. I like things that are touchable, welcoming, and usable. I’m glad you won the argument
. Well, at least, it sounds like you did!
SimplicityBySunny
May 18, 2010 at 6:42 am
Oh, I did
Chandra
May 20, 2010 at 11:29 am
I’m so with you on this Sunny. I’d call what you describe as “patina” or the visible presence of time in the thing itself. In Japan they describe this quality as wabi-sabi and are also very good at putting together non-matching but happily partnered porcelain whilst keeping everything zen like and minimal. Another lovely post!
minimalmark
May 18, 2010 at 6:14 am
@ minimalmark – “…visible presence of time in the thing itself.” Beautiful words! I’ve heard of wabi-sabi before, but didn’t realize its meaning until now. Japanese style really draws me, especially these days as I try to balance aesthetics with minimalism. Their prints are vibrant, yet soothing. Their furniture sleek, but comfortable. I’m definitely in search of more wabi-sabi in my life. Thanks for the comment!
SimplicityBySunny
May 18, 2010 at 6:45 am
I may be more of a magazine photo person. Things don’t necessarily have to ‘match’ but they have to be color and style coordinated. If they aren’t, my incredibly strong ‘visual’ sense goes in to overload because all I see is a clashing and jarring mess. It’s the same feel I have when walking in to a messy, cluttered or crowded room.
I’ve always loved Japaneses style and Danish modern furnishings. But not together.
Willow
May 18, 2010 at 9:15 am
@ Willow – I appreciate both Japanese and Danish furnishings, but I couldn’t have them in the same room, either. But I do like a certain blending of colors, rather than a uniform of color. But I think the jarring/clashing visual sense – at least, for my taste – wouldn’t be an issue. There’s very little to see, after all!
SimplicityBySunny
May 18, 2010 at 10:52 am